Breaking News!!!!! Jessica Alba Erases Her Mexicanicity

Stretching credibility past the breaking point, Jessica Alba has, via magic, sworn off her Mexican roots. Now all of us suffering from the pains of racism and ethnocentrism, can, through the power of the word, walk away from our own swarthy histories. Do keep in mind, especially with regard to the last link there, that the source for this ethnic firestorm is Cubano web-dawlink Perez Hilton; that said, Hilton reveals himself as a dogged researcher providing a link to the full-text, in Spanish, where Alba performs her Mexi-erasure. A telling selection--echoes of Richard Rodriguez's Hunger of Memory, appears below.

Your valiant, pedant, not-at-all-self-rightous blogger here and now swears OFF his muddled mix of Mexican, Sicilian, British, and Tunisian (a recent revelation!) DNA; from here on out, I am 'merican. No, strike that! Venusian!

As for our ethnicity-cloaked Invisible Woman, our blonde Sue Storm, what is left to say? She is at the tail-end of a living and breathing lineage that is peculiar, curious, and in flux.

In any event, while Alba's rendering her Mexicanicity invisible (holy Fantastic Four, Batman!), Dana Gioao, head of the NEA, outs his in a Stanford commencement address.

Alba interview excerpt:

PT. ¿Qué te hace sentir orgullo de ser latina?
J- Siempre me sentí fuera de lugar cuando crecía, pero ahora creo que la gente es más diversa en cuanto a raza. Siempre me sentí mal por mis labios grandes y mi piel morena cuando era pequeña porque me sentía que no calzaba con el resto de los niños, ahora somos muchos latinos y el color no tiene importancia, más bien es mejor tener la piel morena, el sol no te hace tanto daño y puedes broncearte sin quemarte.

Speedy Gonzales Stock Continues to Rise!

The fastest rat in the history of animated "Mexicans," Speedy Gonzales, continues to ride a rising wave of popularity--now, with a new line of skater-dude oriented fashionista costuming. The insider scoop is here.